Tug of validation

Listen to the audio first(Not mandatory though)

Rafi sahab's voice echoes, "he banane sanvarne kaa jab hi mazaa, koi dekhne vaala ashiq to ho".

Rafi sahab once said this line with such ease and charm, but if you listen closely, it’s more than romance. It reflects something that all of us feel deep down: The joy of doing something often depends on someone watching, noticing, and appreciating.

That line, from the song “Badan Pe Sitare Lapete Hue,” beautifully captures what we call validation.

Validation is the feeling of being seen, heard, or understood. It’s when someone says, “Yes, I get you. You’re right to feel this way.” It can come from others (external validation) or from within (self-validation). And whether we admit it or not, most of us constantly look for it.

Even me. Even this blog. Somewhere deep down, I’m writing this for validation too.

To be understood. To be felt. To be seen.

Let’s be honest: validation feels good. It motivates us. It makes us feel alive. But here's the catch, sometimes, our need to be accepted by others becomes so strong that we begin to betray ourselves.

You have a view. An opinion. A preference. However, if others around you disagree, you may reshape your view to fit in. For example, maybe you didn’t enjoy Breaking Bad. But since everyone around praises it like the best ever, you tell yourself, “Maybe I missed something. I should like it too.”

Soon, you aren’t sure if your opinion was ever truly yours. That’s the silent harm validation does. It makes you doubt yourself, bend yourself, and sometimes, even lose yourself.

But at the same time, validation isn’t always bad. Let’s be real, who doesn’t want to be clapped for after doing something big? Who doesn’t want someone to say, “I’m proud of you”?

If you succeed, but no one notices, does it feel like a complete success? Imagine working hard for something for months. You achieve it, but no one cares. There’s a certain emptiness in that silence.

Validation, in this way, drives us. It pushes us to do better, to reach further.

We want to be seen. Our efforts feel real when someone acknowledges them.

So what's the answer?

The balance. Learning self-validation

It's not to reject validation completely. It's to not become dependent on it.

Yes, being appreciated is beautiful. But don't wait for the world to clap before you feel proud. Don't silence your own voice just to echo someone else's.

Validation is like sugar, sweet in the right amount, harmful if it controls your every craving. 

Appreciate it, enjoy it, but never let it become your only fuel. Your truth deserves to be lived, even if no one is watching.

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